Well, this is my LAST entry for 2009 and I’m only 4 hours away from the new decade. Looking back I don’t know what to make of 2009. However, I can honestly say 2009 felt a little bit better than the suck ass 2008. Actually, 2008 had that nasty after taste of 2007… which didn’t really let me enjoy 2008 so much. (That nasty after taste being, well… you’d probably can guess who I might be referring to - or the situation.)

2009 started out quiet for me as I shed off 2008, welcoming in the new President and focusing on a new plan of attack to further advanced my career. Well, like they say - it’s nothing but good intentions. Pretty much is case every year, when people make and try to keep New Year Resolutions. However, it’s really more like a revolution of repeated failed attempts. A cycle of being hopeful that the new year will be the breakout year but yet, towards the end of that year, you realized nothing happened. And so, you write a new set of resolutions… again!

Let’s just be honest here - New Year Resolutions should be sent to Unsolved Mysteries. I can’t seem to understand why my own particular resolutions aren’t being kept. Maybe they’re too hard? Or maybe I just didn’t really want to keep them. But let’s review some of the highlights that happened to me over 2009…

Comedy - definite plus for 2009. I managed to get in front of a few influential people for television and bookings. However, I still haven’t written or refined that 45min of new material that I’ve been wanting to do. I’ve found myself over the later half of 2009 going on stage less and less every month, while discovering a few more backstabbing comics. (No surprise there!). Yet, 2009 has also been the death of celebrities…

Billy Mays
Brittany Murphy
David Carradine
Dom DeLuise
Ed McMahon
Farrah Fawcett
Les Paul
Michael Jackson
Ricardo Montalban
Ron Silver
Ted Kennedy
Walter Cronkite

…to name a few.

Film - I traded off my stage time for more behind the camera scenes. I acquired some new HD equipment and managed to write and direct a few short films. Where I blew off in writing/refining my stage material, I traded it for writing sitcoms and feature scripts. All in all, it’s been quite nice to work on something different other than just trying to be a comedian. Maybe in 2010, I’ll probably end up producing at least one of my scripts.

Romance - ah this is the one that killed me here. Hooking up with your ex- 3x’s in the same life is probably stupid and suicidal. There’s a reason why we broke up in the first place. Sure I can probably sit here and spew my guts on how miserable this girl made me or I can just chalk it up to “having nothing better to do” and being “experimentally sadistic”. Whatever the real reason is (which I still do not know why I hooked up with her 3x), good riddance to her and her emotional abuse. Lets face it, nothing about her is different and I don’t know if I can honestly say that anything from the so-called one way, non-compromising, psyke-warfare relationship was real. Basically, she found a weakness in me and exploited it to the point where I allowed myself to be used and fucked in the head. Oh well. I’m wide-awake now and I’m onto her mind games.

Health - now this is the one that got me thinking a lot this year. I’ve struggled on getting my weight down. Trying to get healthy… but I ended up in the Emergency Room earlier this year. Not a good way to start off if you ask me. Needless to say, I was on a steady workout track. I was up in the mornings, running 5 miles, 5 days a week and altering my eating habits & lifestyle (trying to get that Stan McQuay look). My sleeping habits were stabilizing to a normal 10pm-6am schedule. Then it all went awry round about the time I hooked up with… well you know - the ex.

Her so-called “work” schedule and lifestyle put a drained on what my mission and goals were. Of course, I won’t use her as an excuse to why I chose to ignored what my intentions were. Needless, to say she was a distraction that I didn’t need. In fact, I found myself compromising a lot of my own personal shit just to please her. Like I say… “Here I go again.”

For what it’s worth though, I’ve been smoke-free since quitting earlier in the year!

What is it with the odd number years? Seems like those are the years I need to watch out for - or rather, just watch out for women like my ex. Of course, in a way, I have to thank her though. She taught me a lot about what I don’t want in a woman and why it’s better to keep my guards up. Lets face it, I’m wide-eyed at the moment and while I’m just like any other average man looking for a good lay - it really comes down to more than just a pump & dump.

So, what do I really think of 2009? I definitely think it’s better than 2008. Not a great improvement, but better. I find myself pushing to change myself and willing to do more. Yet, I need to learn to stick to my goals and not let myself get compromised for any one person.

Going forward into the new decade and 2010; I don’t want to make any more resolutions but rather just do it. Really in the end, it matters only to one person.

Me.